YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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