i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I will be naked everywhere
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize