Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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