I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
