Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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