We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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