I want to walk on stilts...naked
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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