apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
