Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
