if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize