You're earring is so big in my mouth
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
When are your genitals available?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
