can u get pink eye on your cock?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
