So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
pray to the hookup gods
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
