Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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