So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
