i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
