Can Purell be used as lube?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
