i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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