The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize