I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
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