I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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