That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize