If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
