ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
