I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
