The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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