i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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