drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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