i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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