that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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