I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
