you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
