party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
