just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
