PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
