I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
