i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
