Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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