eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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