never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
