O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
