Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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