Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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