id be glad to
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
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