i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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