he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize