My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize