I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
