i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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