margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You're breaking my sexual little heart
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize