Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
