thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
