I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
