i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
