I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It was like giving head to a cactus.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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