There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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