Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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