Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
