people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
