ya dads aren't the best wingmen
That's when you crack a 10am beer
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize