So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
