I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
