this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
