Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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