What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
