I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
