I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
