I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Drunk is not a location!
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
