K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize