Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
