Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
