Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
