I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
last night I used snow as a chaser
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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