she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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